Have you and your family had THE Conversation? If the unthinkable happens—and you or your spouse experiences a major health change that requires extended care (home care, assisted living, or even skilled nursing)—your loved ones will be forced to make decisions quickly, often during a crisis. Having the conversation now can reduce stress, prevent family conflict, and protect your finances.
If you already have a Long-Term-Care plan in place
If you have planned ahead—whether through Long-Term-Care insurance, a tax-free LTC income
plan, or VA Long-Term-Care benefits—your loved ones need to know where the plan is and who to
call.
- If you are a wartime veteran, the spouse of a veteran, or a widow/widower of a veteran,
and you have completed advance planning to qualify for a VA Long-Term-Care benefit, make
sure your family has the name and contact information for the VA Accredited Agent or VA
Accredited Attorney who helped you. That professional can guide you (or your legal
representative) through the benefits process when the time comes.
What your family needs to know about your wishes
This conversation should include clear guidance such as:
- Where you want care: at home with support, assisted living, or elsewhere.
- Your preferences: if you’ve toured communities or researched providers, tell them what you
liked—and what you don’t want. - A key reminder: your family should understand that choosing the “cheapest option” may not
be the safest or best fit. - If your care costs exceed your monthly income
- Even with good planning, there may be a gap between monthly income and monthly care costs.
- Help your family by putting your preferences in writing:
- Which accounts or assets should be used first, second, third, etc., to cover any shortfall.
- Who should coordinate those withdrawals and monitor the plan.
- Income pays bills. Assets must be liquidated to create income.
- Having a sequence ahead of time can reduce taxes, avoid mistakes, and prevent emotional
- decisions.
If you do not have a Long-Term-Care plan in place
You’ll need a different kind of conversation—one that includes how your family will handle both
caregiving and funding. Before you talk with your family, think through:
- People you’ve known who needed care due to mobility issues (walker/wheelchair) or cognitive decline (memory loss). How did it affect their family physically, emotionally, and financially?
- Whether you’ve researched ways to plan and pay for care using:
- government programs, and/or
- LTC insurance or LTC-based income strategies with a specialist
- Which assets would you prefer to use first if care is needed.
Questions to discuss with your loved ones
Use these questions to guide a practical, honest conversation:
Caregiving reality
- Who, if anyone, could realistically serve as the primary caregiver?
- How would that responsibility impact their health, marriage/family, job, and finances?
- Could you and your spouse physically help each other with a fall, bathing, or toileting if
- needed?
- Reality check: try lying on the floor and see who can safely help you up.
Professional care support
- Would you need professional home care to supplement family support—1 day/week, 3
- days/week, 5+ days/week, or more?
- What would that cost monthly, and how would it be paid?
- Where care happens
- Where would you want care: at home, assisted living, or nursing care?
- If assisted living adds $4,000–$6,000 per month, do you have the monthly income to cover it?
- If care expenses require supporting two households, how would that impact the healthy
- spouse?
Decision-makers and legal authority
- Who will hold the Health Care Power of Attorney?
- Who will hold the Financial Power of Attorney?
- Who will be responsible for:
- coordinating care decisions,
- managing bills, liquidating assets in the right order,
- and understanding tax consequences?
Financial and tax coordination
Have you discussed:
- the sequence of liquidating investments, potential tax consequences, and whether the person helping you is comfortable and competent managing those decisions?
- Does that person truly have the time to handle ongoing paperwork, calls, and follow-through? Veterans benefits (if applicable)
- Do you qualify as a wartime veteran (or surviving spouse) who may be eligible for a VA Long-Term-Care benefit?
- If yes, have you done the necessary advance planning so your family can act quickly if care is needed?
Final thought
“If you do not decide… someone else will have to do it for you.”
Article Compliments of:
Charles C. Scott AIF®, CDP®
ACCREDITED INVESTMENT FIDUCIARY®CERTIFIED DEMENTIA PRACTITIONER®
Pelleton Capital Management, Ltd.
13951 N Scottsdale Rd. Suite 225
Scottsdale, AZ 85254
480-513-1830,
www.pelletoncapital.com
